?

Log in

LiveJournal for Paradox Placebo.

View:User Info.
View:Friends.
View:Calendar.
View:Memories.
You're looking at the latest 5 entries.

Tuesday, January 25th, 2005

Subject:Car Chase
Posted by:greatphoenix.
Time:4:35 pm.
Mood: thoughtful.
A Paradox Placebo Car Chase. Oyo, help me out with this one.

INT. OYO AND SPUNKY’S KITCHEN – DAY

Elizaveta is cleaning the dishes and shouting about how messy the house is. Suddenly tentacles shoot out of the sink and try to molest her, shooting up her skirt and into her blouse. She bites down on one of the tentacles, and quickly they retreat.

ELIZAVETA
Bitching and screaming!

Elizaveta storms through the house, shouting and shaking her fists. She passes Oyo and Spunky who are sitting on the couch. Oyo continues to watch TV as Spunky notices her and begins to follow.

SPUNKY
Hey, you didn’t bring me my beer!

Oyo and Spunky follow her outside.

CUT TO:

EXT. FRONT PORCH – CONTINUOUS

They stand on the porch and stare out toward the drive-way as Elizaveta gets into the van.

OYO
What’s she doing with the van?

SPUNKY
HEY THAT’S NOT THE KITCHEN!

OYO
She’s stealing it!

Oyo and Spunky go running out into the street as she’s pulling out.

OYO (CONT’D)
Damn! Look what your woman did!

Spunky begins to cry. Oyo looks over to him and notices, then pats him on the back.

OYO (CONT’D)
Aw, come on, guy. I didn’t mean it. Look, I’m sure another one will come along someday. It’s not the end of the world, guy. Come on. You’ll find another one like her.

SPUNKY
But I love that van!

OYO
Oh!

Murai comes walking out of the house waving.

MURAI
Hay guys, what’s going on?

OYO
Spunky’s wife stole the van.

Murai gets angry and shakes his fists!

MURAI
I had my best Pantera LPs in there!

A car pulls up behind them and honks.

DRIVER
GET OUT OF THE STREET, ASSHOLE!

Spunky looks at the driver, then grins at Oyo.

OYO
You wouldn’t.

CUT TO:

EXT. STREETS – A MOMENT LATER

Oyo, Spunky and Murai drive off as the DRIVER stands in the road watching them go.

DRIVER
Damn.

CUT TO:

EXT. CAR - CONTINUOUS

Spunky’s driving, fiercely concentrating on the road. Spunky sits beside him nervously. Murai’s sitting up in the backseat, watching through the windshield as if he were viewing an exciting film through it.

OYO
Now you’re stealing cars, Spunky? I so don’t know you anymore.

MURAI
This is so fun, guys. We should do this more often.

The car swerves around a corner.

SPUNKY
Target in sight, full speed ahead.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, January 18th, 2005

Subject:one panel to go!
Posted by:greatphoenix.
Time:8:56 pm.
Mood:creative.


Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, January 16th, 2005

Subject:4th panel of 6
Posted by:greatphoenix.
Time:11:19 pm.
Mood: contemplative.
Can't seem to successfully overlay the colored Oyo and Spunky from Exhibit A over the half-assed and not-yet-outlined bg in Exhibit B. Oyo? Do you mind helping me with this? ($20 says no, he doesn't even have creative suggestions anymore, just art critic). :@


EDITED OUT!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:My cousin Erin sent feedback on the script for Paradox Placebo, issue #1
Posted by:greatphoenix.
Time:9:56 pm.
Mood: complacent.
Her Mail:

Great title! great dialog, the characters speak naturally to each other,
nothing forced or fake, unless intended to sound fake for comedy effect.
The beginning is a little slow, after they form the band the story really
gets rolling. I love the MTV show! I love that the chick goes for the hunk
and talks about really connecting with him... I've seen that happen a
million times, in the reverse too...guys always say they're "really in love"
with the big breasted blonde. In fact, there was a pretty girl here at
school who dated several guys in succession and after one or two dates she
would move on for whatever reason, (maybe just didn't click with the guy),
and ALL the guys claimed their HEARTS WERE BROKEN by her! They barely knew
her! HA

Anyway, about your script: The lyrics for the songs are really good, did
you write them yourself? I could totally hear Linkin Park screeching out
those lyrics. Your parady has very astute observations on the human nature,
the music industry's formulaic nature, and American consumerism. Not being
a teenager/20-something anymore, I can tell you that most of the music,
clothes, movies, cars, mtv, etc., is all aimed at youth. That is the
biggest money-making demographic for games,music and movies, and that is all
the cater too. For instance, all the people who grew up on MTV watch VH1
now (mostly because they still play music). The station kept making
material aimed at the demographic while the old demographic grew up. In
short, your writing here is perfect for the young market.
Some of the comments about women, race, and sex are pretty offensive and
you should be prepared for backlash agaisnt it. Not totally to my taste.
Howevery, one thing I've learned here at film school is that most of the
kids love that kind of stuff. Sad but true. Again, it's totally
marketable.
Is Oyo spanish? In the beginning, Spunky seems to be idealist wanting to
take action and Oyo the sidekick. Later, when they form the band, Oyo seems
to be the leader and Spunky the sidekick. I didn't think Spunky would be
the follower, but the name suits that kind of character better. I would
either develeop the switch more, Oyo's rising to make a statement (and
Spunky's failure to keep on idealist standards (like when he wants to spend
all the money at a strip club)) or keep the two characters distinct.
Can I just say that I love the theme that all these American kids have it
so great yet they whine with self-pity, like the goth and the Linkin Park
boys. Oyo and Spunky seem to be consumers of pop culture as much as anyone
else, but they have no pretentions about it. Like the title of the song, I
don't try to be different, I'm just me. That's a very Zen statement...
I don't know if every one calls Dance Dance Revolution DDR. We had one
here at school and some friends of mine loved it. Maybe while the
characters discuss it you could cut to a flash of Murai actually doing it in
full Japanese fanboy fashion with tilted camera and flashing lights, so when
he deniies it, the audience knows he's being defensive because he does like
it.
At the beginning lots of long speechs. In film, either you are looking at
some one talking for a long time, or you intercut with other images. What
do you want the audience to see as Spunky preaches?
I love the dialog aabout the decepticon fleet. It was totally like to two
guys hanging out being themselves.

Wow, that's a lot. I hope I didn't bore you. But you did ask what I
thought. Scripts usually run 1 minute a page, so your 20 pages would be 20
minuties-ish. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I've been sick
and trying to keep up with school. My little baby cousin is all grown up
and watching Hentai! I hope the books were useful. when I get finished
with this term, in March, I have television script I can send you, so you
can see what T.V. scripts are like.

Take care out there!
Erin


My Response:

I actually made Oyo take the lead in part, especially since he was
intended to be a co-writer, and actually wrote the second half (where
Murai begins talking about his idea). I want us both to appear to
keep one another in check and completely reflect ourselves, which is
why Spunky wanted to go to the stripclub (to reflect my inability to
stick to one thing for a long time [ADD]).

And as far as the lyrics, they were 100% satire, even the "I don't try
to be different I just am." That line was directly lifted from a 16
year old girl's livejournal, she was some girl I spoke to on AIM
briefly and found to be hilariously ignorant, even for her age. So
Oyo and I both eavesdropped on her LJ and pointed out comical typical
goth lines from it. Nothing our characters did in Effigy are
self-reflective.

I have no idea where the name Oyo came from and he won't tell me.
He's caucasian. Very caucasian, haha.

As for the racism/sexism, it was totally intentional. You got the
edited version, so be thankful, the last scene was a TID BIT longer
and some people liken it to Kevin Smith styling, a la Chasing Amy.
:erk: Kevin Smith did not create the term and is severely overrated.
=(

I don't watch hentai so much, I watch Hikaru no Go. =)

You didn't bore me, I appreciate the feedback. Oh and the books were
funny, I told my mom the gauge was symbolic for saying I have no ideas
and the title of the other was saying my story doesn't connect, yay
for constructive criticism. :lol:

Really I just forced that for a laugh, but I'll check them out. Oh,
and if you really think they need work on connecting, I was working to
make it random as h3ll. I'm mostly inspired by Family Guy, have you
ever watched that show?
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, January 12th, 2005

Subject:Strip 3
Posted by:greatphoenix.
Time:3:29 pm.
Mood: sore.
Photobucket only takes jpegs so I'm trying to get another domain cleared up so I can upload the pngs there. That way Oyo can touch up on anything he doesn't like that I did. :) I'll post what I have so far and update the images whenever I do more.

Source IMG:


Colored:




Comments: Add Your Own.

LiveJournal for Paradox Placebo.

View:User Info.
View:Friends.
View:Calendar.
View:Memories.
You're looking at the latest 5 entries.